Nobody told us this was how it was going to be. Nobody warned us. Wait!, they did. The phrase ‘wobenyini abeto” (loosely translated as you will grow to meet it) was often said as we asked questions or tried to counter the actions and words of those older.
I guess we did not pay much attention.
Dearest gentle reader, it has been a while. I have no excuses left in my cabinet. For me, life just happened. The last time I checked, it was a new year; I had plans; I put my things in place; I had hopes then, and just like that, it was August. Sometimes, I don’t know what day of the week it is; maybe it’s because I work all around. The days just flew by without me even noticing. A lot has happened and as usual, I draw my lessons and move. Let me gist you.
We don’t talk enough about adulting and the way life teaches you lessons. I always thought problems were supposed to be solved one after the other. But no! It is solved simultaneously. Maybe it’s because ‘problem never finish.’ You are constantly battling in your head; you are always trying to survive and you will think, ‘Why me, Lord’? Then you will hear someone else’s struggle and you immediately thank God for your life. While others will see your struggle as small compared to theirs, may we all be reminded that whether big or small, we are all going through something and our feelings are very valid. It is not a competition as to who has suffered more or not. I used to think people carried their problems well. As I get older, I realise this even more: who are you going to cry to? Everyone is going through it and nobody cares. This does not include those who genuinely care.
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Adulting is probably about being intentional about every aspect of your life. Planning and prioritising as you go. The parts I struggled with before were relationships—I am talking, friendships and family ties. I have lost a few friends and made new ones. For some, we just grew up or apart. I feel some are not even worth salvaging. Others are even unnecessary. I feel everything that involves humans is potentially dangerous. I have seen and experienced betrayal, disloyalty, lies, and treachery. People will do what they want to do regardless; that you will not do it to someone does not mean they will not do it to you. The fact that you show kindness does not mean you will get the same in return and there is nothing you can do about it. People are free to choose what and who they want and if it is not you or in your interest, they are not wrong. I have learnt to go where I am genuinely accepted. Water what waters you. Love yourself enough to move away from a bad aura.
Period!
In striving for survival, giving up is not an option. Normally failure is taken as the end of something. In some cases, it is best to leave it. Sometimes, it is just the beginning. Learning from our failures only helps us to know where we went wrong and will help us in our next steps. You will figure it out once you get there.
